In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
