You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize