I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize