He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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