so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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