A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Drunk is not a location!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
