then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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