Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
