can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
