shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
