Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
