I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also, beer. Big fan.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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