But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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