Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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