It's Friday. Sex?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
