You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
