i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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