He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I have already put on my inside pants.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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