Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
