Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If its not for food we ain't going out.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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