would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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