I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
