I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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