as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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