i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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