We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said âEat Freshâ while his GF was with him. FML
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