Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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