I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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