It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
