I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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