I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize