Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
