we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
