this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i was born a porn star she said
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
