If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
