I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
