I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize