to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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