i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize