I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
