I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
