Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
