Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
