no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
