just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
