Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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