This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
