wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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