Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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