i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
