are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
