new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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