A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
