What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize