I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
